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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257021">I'm Going Through Changes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired'>TooYoungToFeelThisTired</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What if? [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Timelines, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Five is in his thirteen year old body or is he?, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Murder, No incest if you understand Fiveya, Season/Series 01, Underage Kissing, Vanya's POV, fiveya - Freeform, others are mentioned - Freeform, some bleeding, some violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:47:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Vanya could always count on Five to keep her safe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What if? [40]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1313192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>212</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Going Through Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I don't own anything</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Then</strong>
</p>
<p>'Don't worry,' he whispered against her ear as he caught her arm stopping her on her way to the training room. The training room was always a problematic place for her. On one hand, she wanted more than anything to be a part of what happened inside especially after she wasn't allowed inside anymore. But on the other hand, she wished she never was since more often than not if she was allowed into the room it was to serve as a part of the training.</p>
<p>Number Seven must have let it show that she was nervous, worried even, since last time she was here, dad wanted her to partner with Allison who spent an hour rumoring her all sorts of things that played with her emotions and mind. She didn't like that. She felt nauseous just thinking about being control like that again. Allison made her believe things that weren't true and were just so mean…She didn't even like to think about them.</p>
<p>Number Five was looking at her with a confidence she often envied him. He was just always so sure of himself and brave. It must have been nice to know you had the ability to change the outcome and know you could do no wrong.</p>
<p>She knew he wouldn't let her go until she would look at him so she did. Five was stubborn like that.</p>
<p>His gaze was firm on her, and his words were an assurance she so desperately needed, 'I won't let anything happen to you, Seven.'</p>
<p>She wanted to laugh. She really did because even if he looked so sure like it was a fact, neither of them could do anything if dad told them otherwise. Yet, Five looked at her like he could, like he had a choice about it all, and he would make his own and protect her from whatever dad tried on her today. She wondered if he was so foolish or bold to think something like that. Maybe a bit of both.</p>
<p>She offered him a small smile of gratitude even if she still didn't think it would be enough that Five decided she wouldn't get hurt. It didn't work like that in this house.</p>
<p>She walked inside away from his grasp toward whatever torture dad had planned for her today.</p>
<p>Sometimes she wondered if he secretly didn't hate her for not having any powers which were why he did all of this to her. Force her to be away from everyone, alone in her room, like a ghost, forgotten. While other times…</p>
<p>'Number Two will throw a knife directly at Number Seven, and your task will be to catch the knife before it cuts her, Number Five,' instructed their dad once they settled down much to all of their shocks.</p>
<p>At times like these, she really wondered if dad didn't hate her just a little bit.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Now</strong>
</p>
<p>It had been over a decade since the last time, Vanya entered the house, yet the moment, her foot stepped inside, she couldn't help but feel the rush of all the things that happened here, good and bad, mostly bad though.</p>
<p>It had been too long, and still not long enough.</p>
<p>Her eyes caught the portrait of her long lost brother in the lounge, and she paused on her way. She could clearly remember the day he left, and the day before and the one before. Sometimes her pills made her forget or made moments hazy, but she was sure, Five never looked as uncaring as he did on the portrait. Then again, she could be wrong. It was a long time since she last saw him and maybe she was only remembering the goods things or things differently than the way they really happened. She remembered a confident genius with a sharp smirk who always seemed to have time and a nice word for her though. He could be mean and cruel, yes, but to her...to her he was almost too good.</p>
<p>
  <em>I still miss you</em>
</p>
<p>She thought as she passed the portrait and went to greet her sister and the others, well those who wanted to talk to her anyway.</p>
<p>When the blue light appeared in the sky, she didn't understand it. Well, she did, but also not really.</p>
<p>
  <em>Five was…back. Sort of?</em>
</p>
<p>He slowly rose from the ground to his feet looking at them dressed in a suit that was all too big for him and cursed loudly. He was thirteen. Did he like just leave? Did he really time traveled and only now appeared here? After almost seventeen years?</p>
<p>She was confused and had too many questions that she couldn't ask in front of the others. She didn't have the gut for it.</p>
<p>If Five was confused, he didn't let it last too long and after a moment started to walk and then jumped into the house as if nothing happened.</p>
<p>They followed. What else could have they do when their brother who was missing for almost two decades came back looking like he left just yesterday?</p>
<p>They found him in the kitchen, and Vanya would be lying if her heart didn't break a bit or did a double flip at the sight of Five working on a peanut-butter sandwich with marshmallows. It was surreal, wasn't it? Almost like a dream. The others seemed a bit less shaken by it since they spoke with him as nothing happened.</p>
<p>That seemed to bring even more questions. He was fifty-eight? Did he go to the future? He was away for forty-five years? Why didn't he come home sooner?</p>
<p>He asked a question and before she could stop herself she answered.</p>
<p>'March 23th.'</p>
<p>It was the first time she spoke since they came into the kitchen.</p>
<p>He didn't look at her. He didn't even pause in what he was doing and somehow…that <em>hurt</em> even if just a bit. Did she want him to acknowledge her? Maybe. They haven't seen each other so long, and they used to be…they were…she thought they were <em>close</em>. Closer than the others. Everyone had someone. Luther and Allison. Diego and mom, Klaus, and Ben. Vanya and Five. It was just the way things were. It wasn't always easy to have Five or for Five to have her, but she figured it was better than being alone. They both needed someone, they needed each other. It was better…before he left at least.</p>
<p>However, what seemed worse than ignorance was when his jaw got to set the way she immediately recognized as his way of trying to control his anger and his eyes ever so slightly glance at hers before they were back to his snack.</p>
<p>'Good,' he said sounding the way he always did, but Vanya knew better. She knew him better than that. Seventeen years apart or not. She knew he was upset. But was he upset with her? If yes, why? The last time they were together. The last time they saw one another… she didn't stop him. She didn't do anything just shake her head in the weakest of all attempts to tell him not to run, but he didn't listen of course. Was he upset she didn't back him up? Was he upset she didn't leave with him? Could he be upset about <em>that</em>?</p>
<p>She swallowed a bit as he finished answering questions of others growing tired with them and jumped somewhere into the house.</p>
<p>He didn't even look at her, and she almost took another pill to crush the pain inside her chest for good.</p><hr/>
<p>Vanya figured the others would be angry with her. It was…<em>understandable</em> she supposed even if she still felt a bit bitter about it. (Maybe she should take an extra pill.) But she didn't expect Five to be like that as well. In all honesty, she didn't expect Five to be <em>here</em> at all, but that he would be upset was even more absurd.</p>
<p>Not sure what to do, she simply made her way up the stairs toward the hallway they used to have their rooms in.</p>
<p>When she published the book and the others reacted the way they did, Vanya thought about Five and Ben a lot. She wondered if they would hate her as well since she revealed all their family secrets. Maybe Ben would be upset, but Five…she always fantasized that Five would be proud of her for sticking it to dad. Maybe…maybe she just never really know him as well as she thought… maybe he just changed too much…</p>
<p>She found the door to his room partly opened.</p>
<p>Mom usually closed or kept them completely open if she was cleaning the rooms or opening the window to let some air inside. She probably didn't change habits.</p>
<p>Carefully Vanya knocked on the doorframe and walked inside only to find Five standing still in the middle eyeing his walls with the angriest look she ever saw before.</p>
<p>It made her pause in her steps in fear or respect since the only other time she ever saw him like this was when dad called him an <em>idiot </em>for messing up during a mission. It brought a lot of unwanted memories back to her again. Bad ones mostly.</p>
<p>She finally found her courage or at least common sense and walked further inside closing the door softly behind her so they wouldn't be disturbed.</p>
<p>Whenever Five would get this upset when they were young, he didn't respond well to words. If she would tell him <em>it was okay</em> and <em>he didn't mean it</em> or any other condolence he would always snap at her to shut up and that he didn't need her pity. What he did seem to accept was something a bit more primal like the knowledge that another person was simply there with him, close. With added time and their relationship becoming a bit deeper he even seemed to accept light touches.</p>
<p>It was desperation more than anything she would tell herself. She just hasn't seen him in so long, and a part of her even believed she never would. But he was here, and he seemed to be upset. She thought it was with her, but maybe it was just general anger at everything and nothing in particular. She couldn't even begin to imagine what he had gone through since he said…since he said he was older, fifty-eight years seemed like forever for now.</p>
<p>Either way, before she knew what she was doing, Vanya's arm appeared around him, over his arms in a weak a bit pathetic attempt to hug him. It didn't go well.</p>
<p>The moment, her chest touched his back, Five snapped from whatever moment of anger he experienced toward his walls.</p>
<p>He spun around in a move worthy of a member of the Umbrella Academy and grabbed her wrist tightly.</p>
<p>'What are you doing?' he asked looking at her with a shocked look on his face. Better than angry she supposed.</p>
<p>'It's called a hug,' she said and instantly regretted the dumb response, but it was too late for that.</p>
<p>She wondered if maybe she did read him wrong. He changed. They both did. Maybe he didn't need physical contact when he was angry anymore. Maybe he needed to be alone now. Maybe she shouldn't have come at all.</p>
<p>It was bizarre a bit. To see him. To see him standing here in front of her looking the same and yet…not. His eyes were different. They could be sharp, cold, calculative, and angry, but never all at once, and rarely with her, never like this directed toward her. It was like she was looking at a stranger a bit, and it caused the pain inside her chest to spread. Every once in a while that she thought of Five, she sort of had this fantasy of them reconnecting if he ever returned, that they would be able to pick off where they left off, simply because of their bond and closeness. But maybe it was just a silly hopeful dream. Maybe too much time had passed. Maybe it was too late.</p>
<p>She swallowed a bit, 'Sorry, I…I shouldn't have done that.'</p>
<p>He blinked at her.</p>
<p>His face softened a bit and the icy look in his eyes melted a bit revealing their natural greenish color.</p>
<p>'Right,' he said and glanced down only now noticing he still held onto her wrist, rather tightly, she might add.</p>
<p>He let her go and looked as if only now he was coming back to himself like he was lost in thought which was something she remembered him doing a lot but never with the result of being violent, 'I …I may have reacted poorly.' It wasn't an apology a normal person would make, but Five was always anything but normal. <em>Extraordinary.</em> But it was still one, nevertheless, so Vanya took.</p>
<p>She nodded shortly at him watching how he was returning to a more controlled look not necessarily friendly or unfriendly but with a certain distance she realized she should be more careful in the future about trying to cross, 'It's fine. I should have…knocked or hoot.'</p>
<p>'Hoot?' he repeated before he added with his brows raised to his hairline, 'Like an <em>owl</em>?' his voice carried a certain <em>teasing</em> tone, and she had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. It had felt like forever since she wanted to do that. Since she felt comfortable around anyone to do that, but with Five cracking the serious façade for a moment to show her <em>this</em>, she almost wanted to do it now just to see if it would earn her a smirk as it used to every time she did something bold in front of him.</p>
<p>'Forget it,' she said and almost allowed herself to grin finding something inside her chest warm-up at the familiarity of their teasing.</p>
<p>He almost seemed to want to do the same before the look of seriousness and distance return to his face, and he walked around her to the closet leaving her with a slight stab in the place that got warm just a second ago.</p>
<p>Upon opening the closet door, he cursed again, and Vanya watched as he must have realized the only clothes he had and would fit him were his uniform.</p>
<p>She reached to tug away her hair before she realized it wasn't spread over her shoulders the way she used to keep it, 'I will give you some privacy.'</p>
<p>He nodded without looking at her, so she quickly rushed through the door pausing for a moment, 'Welcome home, Five.'</p>
<p>His hand paused against the uniform he probably picked up for a moment, and she wondered if he would like to tell her something before he put the uniform back on the hanger and picked a different.</p>
<p>Nodding to herself she left his room wondering if maybe she shouldn't skip the funeral all together.</p>
<p>'Thanks, Vanya,' she heard him say just before she closed the door. She didn't open it again, but she decided to stay for the funeral at least wondering in what room she could hide it was a time though.</p>
<p>Her eyes briefly glanced to where her room used to be before she shook her head and pulled her bottle of pills out taking one quickly before heading downstairs.</p><hr/>
<p>This time, he was the one who found her in hiding in the lounge room waiting for the funeral to start and her time in the house to come once again to an end. Maybe it would have been better if he didn't see that she was staring at the portrait on the wall. His portrait. The one dad had made after he disappeared, or as the news stated went on his solo mission indefinitely.</p>
<p>'Good to know that I was remembered,' he spoke in his usual confidence the anger he showed before melted away it seemed.</p>
<p>She turned around startled although she knew he would be there. It was just that she still had a hard time to accept that he really <em>was</em> there and not just in her thoughts. Even more, since he looked exactly the same.</p>
<p>She blinked trying to find some grounds for them to go back to the teasing they tried before. To go back to the familiarity they once shared that made them close. To go back to the people they used to be, 'Some could speculate you were his favorite.'</p>
<p>He grimaced it wasn't as she remembered it, but it was close enough, 'That would imply he was capable of having favorites which would mean he <em>liked</em> us.'</p>
<p>She allowed herself a tiny smirk play across her face. He seemed to a bit more relaxed now as well.</p>
<p>They watched one another, and Vanya couldn't help but feel a bit self-aware about herself now. She just heard the news about dad. She didn't have time or effort to get home and dress into something fancier not that she owned many clothes that would fit the definition. Her hair was a mess ever since she left the audition. She overslept this morning, and barely managed to brush it. But then again, why did it bother her?</p>
<p>Five was wearing his uniform which wasn't creepy<em> at all</em> (Sarcasm). It wasn't like he ever cared for what she wore, right? She just…she wasn't sure why it mattered now that he saw her like that.</p>
<p>'Read your book by the way,' he said and took a couple of steps closer to the portrait, to her. She probably stopped breathing upon hearing those words and expecting the worse.</p>
<p>'I thought it was pretty good. All things considered.'</p>
<p>Her heart had no reason to skip a beat the way it did when he said that with his green eyes piercing into hers with a certain <em>look</em> like he was trying to figure something out about her.</p>
<p>She had to look away when she felt she wouldn't be able to hide her smile wondering how long it had been since someone complimented her or her book, 'Oh, really?'</p>
<p>Vanya couldn't help herself feeling ridiculously <em>pleased</em> that he liked her book. <em>It was silly, wasn't it?</em> Some people liked it. Some people bought it. Not her family though, of course not, she was a traitor who told the world the truth about what happened in the house and just…she understood why they hated it, and her, but Five…she still held this ridiculous hope somewhere deep inside that maybe Five…wouldn't hate her, and maybe just maybe he would understand her and why she wrote the book and why she wrote it the way she did, and maybe – just maybe he would even <em>like</em> it.</p>
<p>When he took another step closer, she glanced back at him and almost took a step back a sudden rush of irrational…<em>not fear</em> but something equally thrilling and terrifying ran over her.</p>
<p>'Quite ballsy to reveal the family secrets like that,' he said the focused look still present like he wanted to burn a hole into her mind and read all her secrets and thoughts.</p>
<p>'I imagine it went as well as expected.'</p>
<p>The strange feeling faded a bit as she focused more on what he said rather than how he looked at her, 'They hate me.'</p>
<p>Five continued to watch her. Didn't he need to look away? Didn't he need to look at his portrait or to the side or anywhere else for a moment? Why? Why were his eyes so fixed on hers like he wanted something like he was waiting for her to do something like he was trying to figure her out and see all there was?</p>
<p>Suddenly, his head nodded, and he granted her wish to look away stepping to the side and walking around her to his portrait. Even if she wanted him not to look at her anymore, she still felt more disappointment that he did than relieved.</p>
<p>'There are worse things in the world,' he said, his voice was filled a lot of regret and guilt.</p>
<p>She wondered if some were meant for them but didn't have the gut to ask instead of letting out a very soft and filled with her own sorrow, '<em>Ben</em>.'</p>
<p>They remained like that, quiet, lost in their own thoughts with their backs to one another.</p>
<p>'Was it bad?' he asked his voice still soft and small almost making her believe they were thirteen again.</p>
<p>She wished she could be and be able to reach out to take his hand. If they were thirteen again he would probably let her.</p>
<p>'Worse,' she breathed out remembering the funeral and the emptiness at the table and in the hallway.</p>
<p>When Five disappeared there was still <em>hope</em>. He could still be around. He could still be somewhere and come back one day.</p>
<p>With Ben, there was no doubt or hope. With Ben, there was just emptiness and certain finality knowing he was never coming back. Sometimes it was easier to know that, not to have to wonder. It was cruel, but sometimes Vanya wished she would at least know if Five was dead too. It would stop her from countless of sleepless hours wondering where he was and if she would ever see him again. Sometimes it felt too painful to know that he was alive, but she would never see him. It felt worse than if she knew he was really gone.</p>
<p>But now she knew for sure, he wasn't gone, and he wasn't alive somewhere else. He was here. He came back. And she had enough time to chase the ridiculous thoughts of disbelief and regret over what could have been in favor to actually be with him.</p>
<p>'Five…,' she said his name and turned around just as he did look at her curiously waiting for her to finish what she wanted to say just as Pogo came into the room shutting her up as he announced that the others wanted to start.</p>
<p>She turned away from him the back to Five whose face shifted into a mixture of seriousness and lack of interest. It was alright. She would have time later to talk to him and <em>catch up</em>.</p>
<p>He nodded slightly and raised his hand a bit for her to walk first before he followed her. Despite what she told herself, she still occasionally glanced behind herself to see if the boy who was once her best friend was still behind her. He used to do that often.</p>
<p>Whenever they walked somewhere Vanya would find him stealing glances of her to make sure she was going as well. It came to the point, that Ben annoyed by this simply switched places with him rolling his eyes at Five's shenanigans. Whenever she did look at him, he seemed to be looking at her and even if she always quickly turned back around, she couldn't help but notice the slightest smirk playing across his face. Maybe he was thinking about their childhood as well. It almost felt like old times.</p><hr/>
<p>The funeral went as well as expected when Luther and Diego started to fight and then destroyed Ben's statue.</p>
<p>She would be lying if she didn't admit that Diego's comments didn't hurt her. She knew she should feel like she deserved it and if she tried hard enough and force herself low enough, she did. However, every time she did she couldn't help but feel this ridiculous anger. <em>Why should she feel bad about it? Why should she hate herself for it?</em> It was her book, her words, her feelings. She took all that pain she felt and wrote it down. <em>Was it really so bad? Did it really turn her into such a worse person than the man who caused them it all? Then </em>those<em> who ignored her most of her life?</em></p>
<p>Either way, she took a deep breath and decided to leave stopping by the kitchen to try and get a moment alone with Five before she would go.</p>
<p>'Fifty-five rooms in this house and not a single drop of coffee,' she heard his sharp and annoyed voice even before she made it into the room.</p>
<p>'Dad hated caffeine,' replied Allison, and Vanya momentarily paused. She didn't want anyone else to be there.</p>
<p><em>Crap</em>.</p>
<p>'He hated children and yet he had plenty,' said Klaus holding onto a guitar, Vanya didn't even know he still had since at one point she was sure he sold everything he had.</p>
<p>She felt out of place again with Allison's weak attempts at a sincere smile and Klaus's unfocused eye and lazy grin not to mention Five's sharp eyes what seemingly want to follow her every move. Was he always watching her like this? This intensely? They were kids back then so probably not but now it was really hard not to feel like she was under a microscope or a prey observed by a predator. It was hard to accept such a look when he still looked like the thirteen-year-old boy in shorts and high socks.</p>
<p>He blinked, and she finally felt like she could breathe again daring to look a bit away although regretting it the moment she caught Allison's raised brows.</p>
<p>'I'm going out to find some decent coffee. I will take the Bentley,' spoke Five somehow off.</p>
<p>Allison was the first one to react, 'Do you even know how to drive?'</p>
<p>Five glanced at Vanya their eyes meeting again in an intense look before he looked away his voice sharp with a hint of frustration, 'I know how to do everything.'</p>
<p>'Can I come with you?' she asked wondering if it only sounded desperate in her mind.</p>
<p>Five looked back at her surprised for a moment before something like regret crossed his face.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Right.</em> He probably didn't want her to come, and she was being pushy. It made sense. Just because they had a moment, and she felt like they could go back to the way they were or she felt some sort of connection or whatever for the first time in years with anyone it didn't mean he felt the same or he wanted to spend more time with her or-</p>
<p>'I mean, I was on my way out anyway,' she said trying not to make it even more awkward, 'I just wanted to ask if you can give me a ride. But maybe I should just go-'</p>
<p>'I can take you,' he cut her off his face different now. It was a moment, but she caught something like worry passing his eyes before it was gone, 'I just don't have a lot of time, and I need to be somewhere later.'</p>
<p>Of course, he had his own life and stuff. She shouldn't feel disappointed or anything. Besides, it was rude to ask to come with him like that. Although, what sort of things he had to do when he just got back and looked like a child again anyway?</p>
<p>'Uh, family bonding car ride, can I join?' asked Klaus breaking the strange moment between them, and Vanya watched the strange look on Five's face melt into the typical annoyed one he often had whenever their siblings or people he classified as <em>idiots</em> were talking.</p>
<p>'I rather bite a bullet into the spleen,' he replied to their brother, and Vanya found herself being spun around and rushed up the stairs.</p>
<p>'<em>Rude!</em>' called out Klaus, but by that time they were already on the top stairs.</p>
<p>'Can you tell me the exact time?' he asked, and she quickly glanced at her wrist watch to tell him.</p>
<p>Now she felt unsure. Maybe, it was a bad idea. He had somewhere to be and with the small wrinkle between his brows, she was sure he wasn't pleased about having to deal with her.</p>
<p>'Look, you can drop me off wherever you want,' she said, and then sighed a bit, 'If you're busy, I can take the cab.'</p>
<p>'Get inside,' he told her sharply and already sat down into the driver's seat waiting for her.</p>
<p>She briefly thought about just leaving but didn't want to annoy him further so she opened the backseat placed her violin case there and then went to sit next to him trying not to stare at him too much.</p>
<p>'Thanks.'</p>
<p>His frown softened aging his face back to how it should have looked like, even though his eyes stayed the same sharp and unforgiving with something that bothered him and forced him to always stay alert, 'Don't worry about it.'</p>
<p>She wondered what that something was that changed him so much. She wondered if she would ever feel as close to him as she used or brave enough to ask and if he would be willing to tell her.</p><hr/>
<p>When he parked near Griddy's, she couldn't help but chuckled although she left her comments unspoken.</p>
<p>He seemed to fall into a lighter mood as well as they got out of the car and walked inside probably remembering all those times she was here before.</p>
<p>'Do you still come here?' he asked once he held the door open for her to walk inside.</p>
<p>She shook her head, 'It's not the same without…' She gestured toward him and grimaced referring to how they all used to come here back in the days whenever they managed to sneak out.</p>
<p>He nodded but didn't seem too down about it making his way toward the tall stools in the front, she followed, 'It hasn't changed at all.'</p>
<p>'Yeah, it's almost like time froze in this place.'</p>
<p>She turned to look at him taking in his profile. Seeing him here brought memories that weren't as bitter or painful as the ones inside the house. They were actually pretty nice.</p>
<p>He glanced at her his face calm, relaxed almost, even if his eyes were still so sharp, 'You're smiling.'</p>
<p>She blinked.</p>
<p>'You haven't smile like that all day,' he said almost <em>softly</em> and turned to the front somehow lost in thoughts.</p>
<p>Vanya didn't know what to say to that so she turned toward the front as well watching the older waitress walk toward them, 'Being inside the house isn't that great for me.'</p>
<p>'Is it for anyone?' he asked just as the waitress stopped by them.</p>
<p>'So what can I get you two?'</p>
<p>'Coffee black,' said Five instantly.</p>
<p>The woman chuckled, 'Alright, kid, then, what about you, dear?'</p>
<p>'Hot chocolate?' she made it sound like a question honestly not sure what she should order realizing she should have probably looked at the menu or something and not focus on Five so much. He was here and for now, he was staying, she could breathe and let him out of her sight for a few moments.</p>
<p>'Alright, you jokers, coming right up.'</p>
<p>Five shot her a look, but she just shrugged, 'If I have coffee now, I won't be able to fall asleep.'</p>
<p>He shook his head amused it was a good look on him and it was almost enough to forgive him for his next comment, 'You're such a lightweight.'</p>
<p>'Shut up,' she said without a bit as the waitress brought them their drinks with a smile before she walked away.</p>
<p>Before Vanya could reach her drink, Five snatched it and switched their cups, taking a sip before she could even say anything.</p>
<p>'Shit,' he said and returned the mug to her, 'I was sure she would give you the one with the coffee.'</p>
<p>Without meaning to she laughed out loud before she covered her mouth looking away with a smile not hiding it as much as she tried in the house.</p>
<p>When she glanced over at him she noticed his lips curved into a smirk, the one she knew all too well while they were growing up. She felt the familiar light mood that could almost be felt before now all around them. It felt like old times, but not quite, but it was close to what she imagined it would feel like if she got a chance to see Five again. It felt good.</p>
<p>'Well, you just look more mature than me, I guess,' she told him and started to carefully drink her hot chocolate.</p>
<p>'And taller.'</p>
<p>'Barely,' she warned him in a joking way which earned her raise brows some of the icy-ness from his green eyes melted away again in favor of their growing comfortable joking around, 'You're kidding, right? You can't be more than 5 feet.'</p>
<p>'And how tall do you think you are right now?' she asked not paying much attention to the man who sat down by her, finish his drink, and left until she heard the familiar sound of the bell but not of the door being shut.</p>
<p>Five's smirk dropped instantly and the hard look returned as he slowly turned to look at the front.</p>
<p>She didn't know why but her heart started to beat faster sensing the room growing colder suddenly.</p>
<p>She started to hear the footsteps once the door finally closed.</p>
<p>Someone walked inside.</p>
<p>'When I tell you <em>now</em>, you will go hid behind the counter. Don't come out no matter what, don't try to run for the door, just stay under the counter, understood?' asked Five by her side in a voice barely louder than a whisper and, yet more threatening than a shout.</p>
<p>Her heart dropped but without daring to let out a single sound, she nodded ever so slight.</p>
<p>She watched him take in a soft breath, 'I thought I had more time.'</p>
<p>She heard footsteps behind them now stop close almost right them.</p>
<p>'Let's not make this more difficult than it has to be,' said one of the people behind them in a serious, calm yet threatening voice that chilled her more than the coldness in Five's eyes before.</p>
<p>Five took his coffee mug and started to drink again while Vanya turned to stone not daring to move an inch anymore.</p>
<p>'Come on, just leave with us,' said the man, and Vanya felt shiver ran down her back when he spoke again, 'She doesn't have to end up hurt-'</p>
<p>'Don't talk about her,' cut him off Five with the coldest tone she ever heard him use setting the cup down.</p>
<p>Vanya couldn't help herself but shot Five a look. He looked calm and collected, but she knew better. Something was happening. <em>Something bad</em>. She didn't have to know who these people were to know they were trouble. It was a hundred times more frightening not to be able to see the people who were behind them even if maybe it was better that she didn't.</p>
<p>'Let's just go. I want to wrap this up quickly and be on my way home,' said the man, and Vanya watched as Five touched the handle on the now empty mug and turned it around.</p>
<p>'Don't worry,' he said quietly but loud enough for the man to hear him, 'You won't make it home tonight.'</p>
<p>Three things happened very fast in the next moment. The first one was Five grabbing the mug and shattering it again the counter. The second was Vanya being pushed by his other hand off the stool while he snapped at her <em>now</em>. And the third was a storm of bullets flying all over the place.</p>
<p>Honestly, she didn't even know how she ended up behind the counter. Her ears were ringing in the horrible sound making her think her head would explode.</p>
<p>She covered her hurting ears trying to ignore the sound and focus on something else hoping Five was okay before all of the sudden, she felt someone grabbed her elbow and jerk her up pressing something hot against her temple.</p>
<p>'Hey, kid,' called whoever was holding her, and Vanya felt her heart drop even lower into her stomach as she watched Five pulling his tie from the neck of one of the men on the ground and carefully placing it over his own. There were about ten men all dead by the looks of it with guns and bullets spread all over on the ground with Number Five standing in the middle of them fixing his tie looking at her. It was such a bizarre image, but she couldn't help but feel relief that he was alright even if others were…<em>dead</em>.</p>
<p>'This ends now,' said the man, and Vanya cringed at how terribly close his mouth was to her ear the warm gun still pressed against her temple. It must have been fired recently, 'Or else I will end her.'</p>
<p>He shook her a bit, and she closed her eyes feeling a mixture of emotions from being held like that by some stranger with a gun. She felt fear, but it wasn't the same chilling one from before that left her immobile. It was as if it was pushed to the corner of her mind only showing in her rapid heartbeat and increased breathing. She felt annoyance that some man was holding her like this, like the useless civilian she always was. But on top of all of that, she felt relief or a certain level of assurance knowing Five was there which meant she would be okay.</p>
<p>It reminded her of the times they were kids, and all it took for her to feel better and know that she would be alright was to look over at Five and take the courage from his confidence.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Before</strong>
</p>
<p>As she went to take her position, Five took a step closer nodding at her as if to remind her what he said before. She offered him a close-mouthed weak smile before she went against the wall slowly turning around.</p>
<p>She wondered if the others could hear her heartbeat as loudly as she could.</p>
<p>Number Two took his position, and Seven tried to look away somewhere behind him rather than directly at him. She would have closed her eyes, but somehow felt that would make her too much of a coward at least even more than she already was.</p>
<p>Even without looking, she could tell Two glanced at dad waiting for the signal while her eyes found Five's. He didn't look worried. If anyone else would have looked at the boy, they would think he was as cool as a cucumber just standing there waiting for his moment to jump and do what was asked from him. But Seven wasn't anyone, at least not when it came to Five. She knew him. She knew him better than <em>that</em>, and so she knew that even if he looked nothing like it, he was worried probably more than she ever saw him. She could read his eyes even from the distance all too well.</p>
<p>Yet, she wasn't afraid. She didn't know if it was his words that got to her or just the situation in total, but she wasn't really afraid. She wasn't sure if just the fact that he was there gave her some courage to be able to stand there without shaking or something else, but she trusted him. Even if he had some doubts she didn't. She really…just trusted and believed in him. He was Five, and he promised nothing bad would happen to her.</p><hr/>
<p>
  <strong>Now</strong>
</p>
<p>Vanya opened her eyes to find Five looking at her just as intensely as before.</p>
<p>His voice was cold and unshaken as he spoke with the man even though his eyes stayed on her giving her some assurance that she would be alright just like all those years before when they were kids.</p>
<p>'You have ten seconds to let her go, and I will make sure your death is quick and painless.'</p>
<p>Vanya felt him shook her a bit his arm crushing her neck now a bit, 'Are you blind? I have a gun to her head so unless you want her brain splashed all over this place take those cuffs and come with me.'</p>
<p>Five's eyes remained on her as the man spoke annoying her with how close he was and loud.</p>
<p>Taking in a soft breath Vanya looked directly into Five's eyes and nodded at him very shortly before giving away a small smile as if telling him that she trusted him to get her out and was ready for whatever he needed to do.</p>
<p>Before she knew it or the man could react, Five jumped in a flash of blue light, and she was out of the man's arm with something warm hitting her face and hair as she ended up on her knees on the ground.</p>
<p>She gasped a bit as she turned around to find Five by her side with his hand on her knee as if he needed a reminded she was out of harm's way and with his other hand mercilessly stabbing the man into the chest with short and quick stabs.</p>
<p>Vanya blinked shocked by the scene for a moment before it all started to crash down on her. She almost died. She almost died, and now Five was living up to his promise of killing the man slowly.</p>
<p>His cheek was a bit dirty, but she figured it was someone else's blood. His eyes held the same firm and sharp look which became so typical of them now, but his hand remained pressed against her knee making sure she was there or unharmed or something. Looking at him now Vanya couldn't help, but realize that she was wrong before, he didn't change at all. Now as he was savagely and slowly murdering a man who tried to hurt her, she could see clearer than before. Five was exactly the same. He was always like this, protective of her like no one else, violent if someone tried to hurt her. She remembered times the others were afraid of him if they caused her pain or to be sad.</p>
<p>This time when she found her arms coming in a circle around him, he didn't jump away although given their current situation, maybe he should have. He didn't even stop in the stabbing motion as the man continued to choke on his own blood, but he did glance at her from the side the way a cat would all calculative and alerted waiting to see what she would do.</p>
<p>She didn't care about any of that.</p>
<p>She simply pressed her forehead against his and took in a deep breath, 'Thanks for being yourself.'</p>
<p>His hand finally stopped and dropped the knife on the man's chest carelessly before he sighed and leaned into her, their foreheads touching and their arms embraced around each other.</p>
<p>Vanya allowed her eyes to close and sighed in the situation far from ideal or normal, but still causing her to feel calm and safe knowing Five was really there and he would make sure nothing happened to her. It felt like forever since anyone made her feel like that, and she couldn't help but feel grateful that he did all of that.</p>
<p>Everything would be alright as long as Five was with her. She was sure of it.</p>
<p>Eventually, they had to let go of each other and stood up.</p>
<p>Vanya wondered if she shouldn't have felt strange and stressed about it all, but with another pill, and the simply the fact that Five was acting so casual about it all now, calmed her nerves.</p>
<p>The only time she felt panicked again was when he took a new knife and cut open his wrist, 'Five!'</p>
<p>'Relax,' he told her without even looking at her while digging up something tiny and black from his flesh.</p>
<p>Her stomach turned at that, and she was more than grateful that she skipped lunch now. What did it say about her, that watching her brother stab a guy over and over again did nothing for her, but this caused her nausea?</p>
<p>He nodded at her to follow him and walked out of the place like it wasn't filled with bodies and covered in blood. Poor Griddy's.</p>
<p>The car ride was mostly held in quiet, as Vanya once again turned to look openly at Five not even trying to hide that she was doing it now.</p>
<p>He looked nothing like the boy who ran away seventeen years ago even if he had the same face.</p>
<p>'Wouldn't it be better if I drive?' she finally decided to ask instead of all those other things, she wanted to, 'You're pretty noticeable looking like this and covered in blood.'</p>
<p>He chuckled. He seemed to be more comfortable in showing her this side of him or maybe he was just tired of pretending or needed a moment to remember the way they used to be, 'Do you think you look any better?'</p>
<p>She blinked and checked herself in the mirror gasping in horror over the bloody drops on her face and hair. She didn't even notice them before, but she did feel something warm hit her face.</p>
<p>As she tried to wipe them with her hand, Five turned on the radio.</p>
<p><em>Changes</em> by Black Sabbath were playing filling the car with soft tunes and sad lyrics but with how calm, she felt even that couldn't bring her down. She never really liked the sad song, but maybe she could give this one a try.</p>
<p>'Can you image what would dad say if he saw us now bloodied in the car?' she asked and took pride in making Five grin some more, 'If he was still alive he wouldn't even let us into the car. He always had Ben washed with a hose before he would let him in. He didn't want the smell to get stuck into the seats. What an asshole!'</p>
<p>'Yeah,' she nodded and leaned back against her seat thinking of those times with a certain fondness she didn't carry for them back then or a few moments ago. It was easier to find something good in her memories now that they were really just memories and that she could move to pass them.</p>
<p>She drifted a bit along with the lyrics of the song when Five stopped at the red light and asked a bit quietly for how loud the music was playing or how they spoke in normal volume before, 'Are you alright?'</p>
<p>Vanya looked at him again noting the softer look in his features now. Nothing like how upset he was in the house, or cold-blooded when the men came.</p>
<p>She reached out and lightly placed her fingers against his arm. Even if he hugged her before, she still had a feeling quick touches wouldn't do him or her any good, 'Yeah, thank you.'</p>
<p>He seemed to relax a bit upon hearing that and surprised her by taking a moment to caress her fingers.</p>
<p>She leaned into the seat again and watched him drive occasionally pushing her nails against her palms just to make sure it wasn't a bizarre dream.</p><hr/>
<p>Vanya would be lying if she didn't admit that once Five pulled to her street, she felt a huge weight settle over her chest. Instantly, she became self-conscious about the building she lived in and the apartment.</p>
<p>Her eyes carefully followed Five's face taking in his expressions as he followed her inside.</p>
<p>He frowned a bit at the garbage bags near the stairs, but apart from that, he looked genuinely neutral about the place. She supposed that was him showing his approval as she knew for a fact that he wouldn't like it, she wouldn't hear the end of it.</p>
<p>He only seemed to pause and show displeasure inside about her windows, 'You need to put bars on them.'</p>
<p>She had to look over to see what exactly he meant, and then roll her eyes, 'I live on the second floor.'</p>
<p>'Rapist can climb,' he said as if it was the most valid point that won him this argument. Honestly, she didn't know, but she was in no mood what so ever to carry on with a fight.</p>
<p>Instead, she led him toward her bathroom where they slowly pulled down some of their most covered in blood clothes and tried to hand washed them, 'Can we talk about it now?'</p>
<p>As always Five seemed to immediately know what she meant as he started to unbutton his jacket to work on the few blood drops there. It reminded Vanya of the time, she used to help up mom to hand wash the uniforms back when she was little and felt like she needed to earn her place in the house if not by fighting crime then at least like this.</p>
<p>Five sighed but told her about the secret organization that dealt with time abnormalities and that they were after him for running away.</p>
<p>When his hand reached out for her, for a moment her mind went completely blank wondering what was he actually planning to do when all of the sudden he pulled away her hair tie to let her hair loose.</p>
<p>She looked over and watched the focused look on his face that she remembered all too well from when he was a kid genius working on his equations and theories in his room while she snuck inside to watch him or read. Five wasn't like the others back then. He never sent her away, he didn't mind her presence, and sometimes even asked if she wanted to join him claiming he liked it when she was around. He used to say the nicest things to her growing up when no one else did.</p>
<p>'What-?' she asked, but he started to slowly wet some of her hair probably to get out the few drops of blood that got there from the man he killed. She should probably be more shaken about that then she was. Was it the shock of the whole thing?</p>
<p>'So how did you end up with these time-traveling assassins?' she asked but then noticed his bleeding arm and went to grab her first aid kit.</p>
<p>They left the clothes to dry in her bathroom, and she offered him her robe since she didn't have any male clothes around.</p>
<p>'No boyfriends?' he asked, and she noticed how closely he was looking at her face as she worked on his wound.</p>
<p>'No,' she replied. There was no point in trying to hide her pathetic love life from Five, and why bother?</p>
<p>He offered her a short nod while he watched her work for a moment. The silence was always comforting between the two of them. It also allowed her some time to think about everything that happened. Five was back. He was home. He was young, but he was still himself. She felt wide awake almost high with the idea that he was here.</p>
<p>When she was done, he asked her to make them coffee while he explained to her about what happened in the future. It seemed surreal, and there were times Vanya wanted to ask him <em>Are you pulling my leg now?</em></p>
<p>But she let him finish without interruption taking it all in and trying to arrange it into a way she could follow it. Despite Five's cocky attitude, he never let her deliberately feel like an idiot. She could manage that all on her own with her insecurities but if anything Five often praised her for being so clever and good in catching up and following his trail of thoughts.</p>
<p>It all just felt so…<em>horrible</em>. Her mind suddenly started to go around the possibility that it was all true and that Five…that Five was someplace so horrible like a wasteland for years all alone, and with everything that happened and how she was starting to feel about him again, she almost couldn't help herself and reach out to touch him.</p>
<p>She hoped it wasn't true. She hoped it was just his mind damaged from the time travel for a moment. She hoped it was made up because such suffering was too much for her to accept that Five had to go through.</p>
<p>'I know it's a lot,' he spoke once he was done, his voice again revealing something vulnerable, he wouldn't allow the others to hear, 'But you have to believe me-'</p>
<p>'I do,' she said abruptly not even sure it was the truth but knowing what would happen if she didn't. He would leave. If she told him she didn't believe him, his pride, and whatever affection he still carried for her would take a great hit, and he would leave her. She didn't want that. She couldn't allow it. As twisted as it was to want someone so damn much to stay even if she shouldn't, Vanya couldn't help but desire that. She wanted Five to stay. She just got him back, and she didn't want to lose him again. She would do anything not to lose him.</p>
<p>'I believe you,' she nodded, but she could see some skepticism behind his green eyes, so she quickly elaborate the lie, 'I just feel…useless. I…I don't know how to help you or if I understand it all properly. I'm not like you, Five. Genius and superhero.'</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes, and she knew she convinced him enough for tonight. Tomorrow, she might figure it out more, or actually believe him but for tonight, she wouldn't lose him at least, 'Don't cut yourself short. There's a reason you're my favorite, you know, and I don't come across people I like easily.'</p>
<p>'I know,' she told him knowing it was a fact. Five didn't like people. Not in general, and there was a very limited number of those he did individually. He loved his family of course. It was his family and the only people who could understand him and how he was raised and who he was, but that didn't mean he had to <em>like</em> them.</p>
<p>Vanya prepared the bed since it was more comfortable than the couch, and Five refused to allow her to give him the bed if she took the couch.</p>
<p>They laid down next to one another after they turned off the lights.</p>
<p>The buzz she felt all through her body wasn't from the caffeine. She knew that the reason she couldn't fall asleep was lying next to her facing the ceiling just like her. It was a bit strange to lay next to someone especially since she spent so many nights sleeping alone. Her partners were usually short-lived, or they didn't stick around for the morning.</p>
<p>Still, even if it was odd and present, it also calmed her to know it was Five's breathing that she was hearing.</p>
<p>Her hand reached out and took his over the covers.</p>
<p>He didn't seem to mind as he linked their fingers together and let out an almost relieved sigh.</p>
<p>'Were you mad at me?' she asked softly into the dark as if not to wake anyone up, 'You looked upset with me for some reason, and if it wasn't because of the book, I don't-'</p>
<p>'I was upset I'm in this body,' he explained cutting off her rambling and then sighing seemingly again annoyed with the fact.</p>
<p>'Oh, it's not so bad,' she told him and smiled into the dark, 'You're a cute kid. A handsome young man.'</p>
<p>'Really? You think so?' he asked, and she could hear the smirk in his voice as he did, 'Then you should wait and see how handsome I got when I grew older.'</p>
<p>She chuckled a bit embarrassed even if she somewhere deep down, she had a feeling it wasn't meant to be a complete joke, but more like a promise.</p><hr/>
<p>Vanya couldn't tell who fell asleep first, but when she woke up, they were still holding hands reminding her of the times they were kids when they had so many ideas for their future and the world it felt like in a few years they would be able to do anything they wanted.</p>
<p>She felt something warm in her heart even if a bit sad knowing they were things between them. She probably shouldn't even bother with them. It was too late, wasn't it? She would have to accept what she could get no matter how small. At least he was here, at least he was back home with her.</p>
<p>It would be enough.</p>
<p>They got out of the bed.</p>
<p>Vanya decided to make breakfast while Five went to pick up his clothes, when he came to the kitchen, she frowned upon seeing the sleeves of his jacket looking so short, 'Did I shrink your clothes?'</p>
<p>When she looked up, however, she almost took a step back realizing, he was taller now. Yesterday, they were the same height, she knew because she found it smoothing that he was and that it reminded her of the old Five who left, but now he was almost a head and a half taller and his face lost some of the immaturity and looked far more teenage-like then yesterday. Was she going insane?</p>
<p>As Five smirked, she felt the familiar sensation in her chest return and something a bit more nerve-racking settle in her stomach, 'Don't worry. I will catch up to my original age in a couple of days.'</p>
<p>She blinked slowly realizing what he meant. So he was aging back, well, that would be interesting. She might see just how handsome he grew up to be sooner than she would have expected.</p>
<p>'Do you mind waiting for me?' he asked suddenly, and she opened her mouth not sure if she understood what he meant before he snatched the back of her neck and leaned down to give her a quick kiss.</p>
<p>She let herself enjoy the pressure of his lips for a moment letting everything on hold for a moment before she pushed him away with a pathetic of a warning, 'Five, you're too young.'</p>
<p>He kept his hand on her neck as he looked himself up and down. He would need new clothes now, 'My guess is fifteen-sixteen so it will take me about a week to get to your age.'</p>
<p>His smirk was radiating and his fingers on her neck softly caressing her skin distracting, 'Can you wait for me for a bit? I'm going to take care of a few things and come back later. Can you wait?'</p>
<p>'Yes,' she said before she could stop herself sounding like a dreamy idiot and quickly trying to cover her mouth and step away so she would soften her embarrassment, but Five wouldn't let her pulling her into another quick kiss that would leave her longing for more.</p>
<p>Afterward, he rubbed his thumb against her lips as if the spread the kiss all over and said, 'One for the road. I will be back later. Wait for me.'</p>
<p>She nodded knowing once again she meant it with the way her head was still spinning from the two kisses. All of it was an unexpected turn of events since yesterday, but this was an almost welcome surprise.</p>
<p>Before she could say anything else, Five blinked out of the room snatching a cup of coffee in the process. She didn't even have it in her to be upset about it before she went to cancel all her students for the day and sleep some more in her bed.</p>
<p>She smiled as she fell against the bed looking at the ceiling for the first time in a very long time feeling good about waiting for Five.</p>
<p>Her fingers brushed her lips. If he kissed her like that again, she didn't mind to wait some more for him.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Koniec</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A.N: Thank you for reading and the support :) I hope you enjoyed the story, and stay safe. Have a nice rest of the day</p></blockquote></div></div>
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